Proofreading again

"Distributed Proofreaders provides a web-based method to ease the conversion of Public Domain books into e-books. By dividing the workload into individual pages, many volunteers can work on a book at the same time, which significantly speeds up the creation process."

How many years it has been since I was proofreading... so long, but I have stumbled upon this site and love it... I can do as many and as few pages as I want to, whenever I like, and it's volunteer, which is great because I like to do my bit to help.

Imagine if everyone did 5 pages, it would soon be done! Hmmm... go and have a look and see if you can help out... it's easy.

Hint Number 1

This an image from one of my favourite sites: The Toymaker. Visit it here:

Quite often I visit and just look around, sometimes print out something and the kids and I make it... she is a very generous and creative lady.

Amazing Kitty

Kitty is perhaps the most adventurous cat in the world. She is the beloved cat pet of a French couple/explorers, Guillaume and Laetitia who are on a mission to travel from Miami, US to Ushuaia , Argentina purely on foot. They are currently in Columbia, heading south.

Their cat, Kitty, is often seen resting in the backpack carried by Guillaume while they are hiking down the road. They even set up a little umbrella on the backpack to give the kitty some shade from the sun.

Kitty enjoys the trip as much as the couple. She often climbs on the shoulder of her daddy to get a good look at every new scenery. She does not seem to be shy or bashful about meeting new people and visiting new places. If we have an award for the most adventurous cat in the world, I’d said Kitty is purr-fect for it. You can see the updates on their journey and more photos at their website.

What a day!

Had a wonderful day at the 'Jumble Sale'. I like that better than Fete. It was so much fun. I love old people, I really really do.

So many characters there, and all so happy to be there, spending their precious pennies on so many things... they have all looked so forward to the day.

And I grabbed a few bargains too. I'll take photos and post them, such lovely things I got, but right now we are off to a very dear friends birthday party. He is 50! And so we have to go now before he goes to bed.


Bye

Cakes and Fétes

Oh dear! I've done it again. Gotten myself in too deep again, that is.

Yep, this time I have volunteered four hours of my time tomorrow (Saturday) to help out at the féte for the Aged Care Facility where Grand Nana lives. That's OK, I can do that. and thoroughly enjoy it too... yes, I can, but I also offered to bake cakes to donate as well... and yes, I didn't look in my diary and I am working today. Brilliant.

To make it all a tad easier, I have totally gone against my normal self and have bought packet cakes @#$#! 8 of them! Oh dear! I thought I would just bake them in those cake containers made of pretty paper that you just leave on... but do you think I could find them anywhere. I went to every kitchen shop and they all said "We don't stock those anymore!" Blast and double blast!

So now, to make my life just that little more difficult, I have to line a thousand cake pans! Me and my big mouth... Lordy lordy lord.

Deserve

Sometimes at the end of the week, I deserve something special. This was a frozen daiquiri that was given to me by my secret santa at work (last Christmas obviously). I found it in the freezer last week and thought I probably should eat it... it was very sweet, very very flavoursome and oh so adult. The children watched me eat it (as I rolled it around in my mouth, oohing and aahing and rolling my eyes). They desperately wanted some, but I deserve treats too! And the beauty of a treat like this is, they can absolutely NOT have any due to the alcoholic content (not much at all actually but it was a good excuse).

I think I might try and have more treats for me... you know how we always give them the strawberries and the peaches and the last bit of everything... well... I actually might just go and buy a punnet of strawberries and eat them all myself before they come home from school... imagine it... a whole punnet, just for me! It would be like being single again!

Something is happening...

Oh My Goodness! Something very exciting is in the wings...

Ooooh! I can hardly contain myself... I am going to give clues and see if you can work out what is going on. But first of all I had to share with you this MOST AMAZING origami... wet origami... check out the site, it's brilliant!

Last day of the holidays

No more sleeping the big bed together... giggling all night or bashing each other up.

No more playing all day in the street with the other kids.

No more lazing in front of the telly watching, and rewatching Samantha, Jeannie and Maxwell.

No more endless snacks to supply.

No more endless washing piling up.

No more endless banging of the front door.

I will miss the holidays... or will I?

So pretty then

 

My very pretty red flowers outside on my bedroom balcony.  I thoroughly enjoyed swimming in the pool below and looking up to see the dear little red faces all bobbing in the breeze.

I forgot to water them. They are now straggly and struggling. 

Oh dear... I've done it again. I hope I can get them back, they were so lovely. But plants on a balcony are always hard to keep. I never use the balcony, so I just don't think about watering it, even though there is constantly a bucket in the shower to catch the cold water at the beginning of the shower to water them with. The dogs drink out of that bucket... and leave dirty little footprints in the shower too I might add. They also drink out of the fish pond... I wonder how the fish feel about that?

Discoveries

Found my little camera and when I looked, I found all my last harvest photos! I was sooooo proud of it all too. So here it all is... it's all gone now, of course, all eaten, digested and pooped back out, but gee it was good.

The tomatoes were bowl after bowl after bowl. I dried them all in a slow oven with salt and basil, bottled them up in olive oil and was eating them with salads, just every now and then, trying to savour the taste. Until the day the jar slipped from the hand and smashed to smithereens on the floor. Oh woe!

Inspiration

Doo doo doo do...

Something strange is going on. I am doing housework. I am actually doing it.

We have cleaned out The Middle Man's room (and vacuumed! I don't vacuum!), The Little Man has done his room all by himself and done a fantastic job too! The sheets are off the beds, the washing machine is on her third load, the dishwasher is packed and I am even thinking of cupcakes?

I am confused and overwhelmed. This does not happen to me. Not me. I don't do housework. I have this picture framed in front of me right now... it's been there for years!

"I dreamed my whole house was clean..."

The boys are off playing at neighbouring houses. In our little part, there are a cluster of 6 houses all with boys in them. It is great for them, they get around like a gang, but I have been hesitant to let them be part of it as they tend to get the blunt end of the stick. (Is that a saying, or have I got it all wrong?) But today, they are sOOOOOOO excited as 5 of them are all going to the little corner shop on their scooters to buy a lolly. Wahoo!

Of course, I sit out the front waiting for them to return, checking my watch vigilantly like all 'helicopter parents' do. I guess I am becoming part of this new movement... quite by accident. It's popular in the US apparently : free-ranging your children. Bit scary...

What do Little Boys Do?

The day began with an all mighty tantrum, a long car trip with lots of silliness, and ended up with this beautiful sand castle being made. Finally, they played nicely, swam nicely etc. Then in the car to come home and it all started again.

Swimming lessons should fix that. Off now... 50 or more laps should fix The Middle Man and The Little Man is sure to crash soon after dinner too. Thank heavens for night time.

Helium Balloons

I saw my first falling star only about 12 months ago. I thought that it was all a load of codswallop actually. I mean, in my many many years on this planet, I had never seen one. What was everyone talking about... but I saw one and I felt so special. It was so fast, so fleeting, so private. I wonder how many other people saw that very same falling star as me?

Anyway, I had a thought this morning. I know we shouldn't let helium balloons go up into the air (space garbage or what have you) but sometimes it is just so important to let a balloon go up into the air until you can't see it any more... especially when you are 8, or even 10? Sometimes even 39.

So I got to thinking, and I thought, out of all the millions of balloons that must be let go of every year, I have NEVER just been standing there and had a piece of popped balloon land on me on its descent back to earth. Have you? Do you know anyone who has? I mean, you would think the place would be littered with pieces of coloured rubber, wouldn't you? But there aren't that many bits of balloon lying around that I can see. I mean, what are the chances of it happening? Obviously not much. But I still wonder about it...

I'm going to keep my eyes peeled. I'll let you know.

Off to the Movies

I loved it! It was wonderful. Such a good movie. I just loved the young cousin who comes to stay, I just loved the mother... so much. Such a colourful, happy, lovely mother. I want to be just like her.

And, as I watched, I felt the eyes of The Big Man boring into the side of my head... he just HAD to make eye contact with me and exchange glances about the piglets who played such an important role in the movie.

You see, The Big Man would LOVE to get me a miniature pig for my birthday. MY PIG! No one else's. Mine. Ohh.. and I do so want one, have for ages and ages, but I just don't think it will work. I have finally come to terms with putting the dogs into a kennel when we go away, but who will mind the pig? And it will be a house pig too, and it would be so disappointed and upset if it were to be locked outside like an animal... mmm

My Wasps

This is what I see when I look out my front door, but I have to look up. They are UP there.

This is what my guests see when they come in the front gate, but they have to look up. They are UP there.

These are my wasps. Aren't they divine? I have been watching them build their beautiful nest for ages now. The nest has stayed symmetrical the whole entire time. I love it because I am a symmetrical girl. It gets me in trouble sometimes, not being able to be asymmetrical, but on the whole, it's OK.

I wonder if other wasps do this in other places... build in formation I mean. It is so beautiful, but it does make me have dreams of curious, very very large, humming nests that completely take over my house, all because I am so dreamy and want to watch their latest design taking place.

Weirdo? Or Surveyor of Simplistic Beauty?

Heart in Mouth

Today I had another heart in mouth experience. You know the type, all you mothers of boys. They come regularly, they just differ in the size of the heart that is in your mouth, that's all.

We took a picnic and set off to ride the motorbikes as you do on a beautiful day. The sun was absolutely shining down on us. We found a beautiful spot under a huge big rubber tree ("You should take a cutting of that!" my father said) and set up the table and chairs etc. It was beautiful. Before us was a really large paddock (ex polo field) that the boys can go round and round and round and round to their hearts content. Behind us was a muddy creek  complete with a rope swing and a high descent. Every mother's dream really.

The girls (dogs) got into it straight away. Racing around behind the boys as they rode, till they were worn out and came and lay down on the mat. Then into the creek they went for a fossick, back up and onto the mat... the picnic mat... the mat for humans... yep! Now all wet, muddy and smelly. Wonderful.

Enjoyed a vegemite sandwich, some mandarins, some soda stream for the kids, a coffee for me, reading, knitting, chatting to The Big Man, and then it happened.

They come tearing past, having a race of some sort I would say. The Little Man decides to cut the corner and beat The Middle Man. Zooom.... off he goes and flies up a little hill, gets some air on the top, lands, fishtails, head first into the ground. The Middle Man meanwhile runs him over. OMG!

The Big Man and I are running over the field, when we see The Middle Man's head over the horizon of 'the little hill' still in helmet, carrying The Little Man to us. It was gorgeous. It was a real mother moment. As much as he really shouldn't have moved him in case of serious injury, it was sooooo beautiful and brotherly to just scoop him up and take him to safety (us).

Turns out, he braked and didn't fully run him over, but enough to leave a serious red mark on his chest, and enough for me to take him to the local A&E to be checked. The Dr who saw us had THE BLUEST EYES I HAVE EVER SEEN! So blue, I stopped my monologue about what had happened with a "Oh... I'm sorry, but your eyes are just so blue! My goodness!" (The Little Man said later that forever more that Dr will be known to us as "Blue Eyes".)

Then back to the issue of my son lying on the bed. He was fine, a little sore around those six-pack muscles that little boys are so desperate to develop, but on the whole, fine. Just as I had suspected, but one never knows and one does not want to wake in the middle of the night and find that one has made a bad judgement call, does one?

Home again, home again, ice creams for everyone, a bath with colours in it fixes most things, just like the old Band-Aid, and they are now all snug together watching Bewitched.

So, for the time being (perhaps it will last till the morning?) they love one another and are cherishing each other. Both of them were just shattered that it had happened and The Little Man wanted us to worry about The Middle Man because he felt soooooo bad about running his brother over. The Middle Man kept pushing me away when I neared him because he wanted me to check if The Little Man was OK. Everyone was concerned about everyone and the dogs just ran around like mental dogs getting in our way. Except for The Big Man – he just slowly and methodically packed everything away and bundled us all into the car and basically was our rock.

We are tired now. Sunshine, fresh air, vegemite, stress, it's debilitating.

Consideration

Speaking of consideration and thinking of others, The Little Men and I were in the car off to the family luncheon, when it suddenly occurred to them that they had no eggs for anybody else! Oh dear! The horrors of horrors!

At ten and eight they have a consceince. Brilliant. I am so proud. And it was particularly delightful to listen to them argue all the way up the mountain about whose eggs they would give away if they felt the need to. "We'll give yours away" said The Middle Man to The Little Man. "Ohhh whhhyyy! I already am one short! Can't we give yours away?"

The Little Man had already had one egg confiscated that morning through rudeness and ungrateful behaviour. But by the time we approached the final turn, they had both decided that they would do what needed to be done and would give theirs away if they did indeed feel bad enough.

Needless to say, they didn't feel that bad, but it was still a pleasure to listen to them try and sort out.

Easter

Easter has passed again for another year. Ours was pretty uneventful. The Middle Man is  fairly sure that it is me that is the provider of the eggs and The Little Man is not far behind. The Big Man is completely not interested and the shops have dulled our excitement by flaunting easter eggs in our faces since late February.

Hmmm. How can I do something different? How can I do something that is not expected. I know. I will dye the eggs from my beautiful chookies and give them as gifts to our neighbours as a tiny show of respect that they tolerate the inconvenient clucks of my babies at ungodly hours of the morning.

They looked beautiful to me. Of course, the children were desperately embarrassed to have to deliver such a thing, but I made them do it. Neighbourly relations just don't exist any more... unless you count The Next Door Boy's coming over with an egg each for boys, sprouting that he got over 20 eggs for Easter! My Little Men's shoulders drops in disappointment... they only got two from The Bunny and one from me. Oh dear!

Anyhow, I am intent on sharing the love this Easter, whether it be with a chocolate egg for My Little Men, or some dyed real eggs for the affluent neighbours. Either way, I have thought about someone other than myself this year. Did you?

Story Books

The Middle Man has finally discovered reading!

It has taken many years and many pep talks and many many books. I thought the moment had come a couple of months ago. He was enraptured by a few chapters of a book and I got all excited thinking "IT" had happened. But since then, he has conscientiously started approx 20 different books and finished none.

... until today? hopefully. Whenever I am looking for him, he is curled up somewhere reading his book. Every 15 minutes or so, I hear "I'm up to page 115 now Mum!", "Guess what page I'm up to now Mum? 134!" He will finish it today and his reward for actually finishing a book is a trip to the book store to purchase one of his choice. Plus he can watch the movie of this book just so he can why it is that just watching the movie is not the same, not good enough, not the answer.

I am sooooo excited for him. All he wanted to do today was lie next to me and read with me... I am into a book I bought on Saturday afternoon. I guess he can see me almost finished and is catching the bug... he is even ignoring our hints at going motorbike riding... he hasn't eaten any easter eggs, he has not argued with The Little Man, he is completely into this book. "I can even hear the boy speaking and sometimes I move my hands like it is ME that is saying the stuff mum! It's sooo good!"

He just walked in "I'm up to page 180 now. I really want to finish this today. Do you think I can?"

You betcha Middle Man, you betcha!

Pyrex

I lurve Pyrex. I soooo love Pyrex. So much so in fact, that I only have one extendable bar cake tin, and a rusty old muffin tray which I put pretty patty pans in, and everything else I bake in Pyrex.

You know the kind... the ones with the navy blue lids. They are miracles. You can bake in them, store them, freeze them, fridge them. Amazing. I love them. And stackable... brilliant. I even bake my pizzas in the baking dish size one, but I do need a pizza stone (before I get my pizza oven! which is going to go at the end of the pool when I manage to get the fence removed (temporarily of course) and the palm trees dug out and the leaking pipe fixed... just a bit of stuff to do). The Big Man said "No!" to the pizza stone, said "Can't you wait till we get the pizza oven?"

"No." It's quite simple really. I make pizzas maybe once a fortnight. We need a pizza stone now. Not in a year when I finally pull my finger out and make the pizza oven happen. Now!

Anyway, being a Pyrex lover, imagine my delight when I turn up at my mum's and see this beautiful set of bowls sitting on her bench. How beatuiful. Of course, my favourite colour being green, I just had to pick it up and have a look at it and ...

IT"S PYREX!!!

My Mum said she bought the set for her mother with her first paycheck I think it was... Imagine it... back then it would have been a huge gift... such an extravagance. I just love the way it all nestles in together and each side has a pourer! Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

Baking

We're off camping this weekend, and so I am baking up a storm: apple cake, jaffa friands, zuchinni slice, spaghetti bolognaise, creamy rice, bread rolls and a loaf of bread too.

Got the radio on the old fashioned station: "I remeeeemmber youuuuu", and I am happy as a pig in mud. Been a long time.

Without trying to sound negative, I just KNOW that when I get home with the kids, they are going to say "What's to eat Mum?" and then they will like nothing that I have cooked.

Well, poo to you... eat it or starve. Got a roof over yer heads, warm clothes and food in yer bellies. Be happy to be alive and going camping... yay.

Everybody loves Thursdays

On Thursday I take the girls to school with me. This is the one day that I KNOW I just drop off and then go home again. So the girls get to come for the ride.

They look forward to Thursdays. I shake my keys and say "GIIIRLS!" and they know. So cute. The boys love having them in the car and like to put the windows down so that the air gets on their faces.

But this morning, Ruby wouldn't get out of the car when I got home.? Go figure that one out. I mean REALLY wouldn't get out. She kept moving away from me when I tried to grab her. In the end I had to leave the door open and just go inside. Bizzaro!

Celebrations

Sometimes when you are eight it is just time to celebrate. Celebration means so many things. This particular day meant drinking out of a silver goblet, with a custom cut straw and a chunk of orange on the side. Sipped (all at once!) throughout the meal (and whilst doing homework) this is a great way to celebrate...? life, living, being alive...

Turning 21

The first of my neices has turned 21! I don't really remember when she was born, but I remember all the rest... it makes me feel old, but a good old. I can't believe that all that time has gone by... where did it go? what have I been doing? Oh... that's right, having my own kids and all the other things that make life. How could I forget.

Now she is a grown up and doing all the things that I used to do, living in the same city I lived in, flatting with friends, having a life that is full and independent. It seems like only yesterday that it was me. Yet, here I am with a 10 and 8 year old, an ever expanding tummy and a headache... I am old, well.. middle aged... and that's OK.

Out of the mouths...

The Middle Man shared some news with me in the car going to school.

"Did you know that butterflies only have a certain number of flaps before they die?

"Yep, once they've used them all up, they die. Imagine that... imagine having, like, 10 flaps left and thinking "I better use these ones really well cause I'm about to die!"

Utterly GROSS!

The end of week 2 and look at it. 

So gross. What is it? How can it be possible to not change in any way. The only difference this week is that there are a few bits of dust on it. Dreadful. 

I'm going to chuck it today. And vow never to eat margarine. Ever...

Caring

One of our neighbours is unwell and will be for a long time yet. It's so hard when you are not overly close to someone but you want to care and do something. There are so many family members coming and going it really isn't our place to add to the mix. So this afternoon I will send the boys in with this bunch of flowers for her. I took so long choosing. I really didn't want an 'organised' bunch, but by choosing the hydrangeas I kind of took that away... they are so round and perfect in their little bunches themselves it is impossible to not have an 'organised' posy. But with the help of the lovely ladies, we mixed them with these beautiful dusky pink Lissy's, tied with raffia so not too fussy and I am happy with the result. She will be able to just plop them into a jug and not worry about them.

Look who joined us for breakfast

Got Juliette out this morning  while I was making lunches etc, and she eventually left me and slithered all over the counter as the kids ate their brekky. So quiet. Just before I took this photo she was drinking the water out of the glass... looked so cool.  Just ever tentatively touching the water and taking back long draughts, but again, so silent. She is getting a lot bigger now. I weighed her too this morning... 118 grams. About 50 gms since November.

Margarine – Day 6

If I hadn't done it, I wouldn't have believed it.

It has not changed colour.

It has not changed consistency.

It has attracted no animals, not even insects.

It has no smell.

I am gob smacked and I think it is disgusting that people think it is an alternative!

Collections

Which reminds me! I used to collect Smurfs when I was a kid. I still have them somewhere... I will dig them out and have some fun with them... surely there must be something I can do with them, and their mushroom house...

Bandages

Remember oh so long ago when The Big Man broke his finger and had? to go to India all bandaged and sore... well, the story is still going on.

Today he is off at the local hospital having that very same finger operated on. Lots of scar tissue has caused the finger to not bend completely and so, because The Big Man wants his finger to bend properly, he is letting people cut his finger open and fiddle around in there. Go figure!

He was completely not fussed about the whole thing. I, of course, am envious because I crave the deeeeeep sleep he will be getting. I just hope he doesn't come home all "woe is me". You know what men are like when they have a cold... imagine the possibilities if they have a sore finger!

Oh... and I forgot to mention that he thinks he is going to play football tomorrow night! The mind boggles, it really does!

Oh dear

The Middle Man is desperately needing some independence at the moment. We are at crisis point actually, so yesterday afternoon I let them go across to the park to play. About an hour later, imagine my surprise? when they called me over to have a look at the amazing work they had done along with our Little Neighbour from next door.

Lots of tools were scattered around, along with a great big digger truck, and they had successfully dug a hole at the foot of the slippery dip ladder, with a castle next to it, complete with moat. They had gone so far down that there was actually water in the moat! The Little Neighbour had run home for more water to fill the moat - a whole cup full!

Added this wonderful work, they had used all the sand out of the hole to completely cover the slippery dip in a layer of sand aproox 15cm deep. What a fantastic find if you wanted to bring your toddler along for a slide. What a wonderful feeling to find this when you are your wits end and the park is your saviour.

Oh, my Little Men surpassed themselves. So proud of themselves, I couldn't ask them to undo it all and thought I should just go over to the park after they had gone to sleep, but oops I forgot to do that. Hmmm....

One good deed...

This morning as I was in the chemist waiting to be served, a friend of mine was buying something and was 95 cents short. She hadn't noticed I was behind her yet, and so it was quite nice for me to say "I will pay the difference for you." She turned around and was so thankful. She had pain and needed the painkillers she was buying.

Vowing to pay me back asap, I followed her outside to go and get a cuppa while I waited for my prescription to be filled. Next thing I know, she trots into the coffee shops, orders me a coffee on her account as thankyou for my kind deed.

I now have renewed faith in the goodness of human beans.  Thankyou.

Ahhh.... Fresh Air

Ruby has just discovered the beauty of an open window. Both the girls, Ava and Ruby tend to sit on the seat next to me and stare intently at me in order to NOT miss out on a pat if my hand comes remotely close to them.

I have always wondered why they never had their faces out of the window like every other dog in the world. Well, today my little Rube finally discovered how blissfully aromatic the air is out there. The whole way home she balanced carefully on the seat, only just tall enough for her chin to reach, she did a splendid job.

She gave me a filthy look when I put the window up when we got home too...

So nice... and refreshing

 

When I see things like this, it makes me happy that there are still some people in the world who understand the innocence of childhood. How gorgeous is the artwork and their music is lovely too. None of this hip jiggling, sexy move stuff that so many of our little darlings imitate from the adults in our world. Head on over to reneeandjeremy.com and download a free song. Your kids will love it... eventually.

Saturday afternoons are spent here...

 

Dharma for Kids

Saturdays 3.30 - 4.15pm
Ganden Kadampa Buddhist Centre, Palm Beach  

Mar 6, 13; Apr 24; May 1, 8, 29; Jun 5, 19, 26; Jul 3, 10, 17

Dharma for Kids introduces children to simple Kadampa Buddhist teachings and meditations designed to help them solve their problems and develop a happy heart. They will learn how to practise loving kindness and cultivate a positive mind. Classes also include simple prayers, fun activities, and discussions relevant to their everyday experiences. Suggested age: 4 - 10 years. Parents are welcome.
$3 suggested donation. No bookings are required.

We are currently into experiments...

This one is to leave a tub of margarine out of the fridge indefinitely and see what happens to it...
We do not eat margarine and never will. We are butter lovers. I hope to educate the boys that margarine is not good so when they leave home in 10+ years, they will know what to buy at the supermarket. I am a tad early with this lesson, but there is so much to learn, I have to start somewhere...

This photo was taken this morning, 48 hours after I put it there... It has not melted, it has not changed colour, the flies are not circling, in fact the only change is a tiny little indent that looks suspiciously like a finger print!

Tuckshop today

Off I go this morning armed with earplugs and a kind and patient heart. Yep! I'm on tuckshop today. Off to make sandwiches, toasties, hamburgers, apple slinky's, frozen everything and the odd pikelet.

My favourite part of tuckshop is the serving. I always bags NOT to have the icecream window. I like the other window where the tiny little Preppies come with their money all hot in their hands, wondering what they can buy with this much money. You can hardly hear them they are soooo timid, and they look up at you with these big eyes full of terror. And then, once the deal has been done, they back off from the window with such excitement in their eyes... "I did it. I made a purchase. I have something in my hands. I bought it myself!"

Yep, that's the best part.... oh that and the fact that I get to see my kids in their land, in their world. Playing with their mates, running past, sidling up to the window "Can I have a frozen juice cup Mum? Pleeease!"

It's so hard being a mum

After posting that last bit about yelling at the kids, I kept thinking about it, wondering why I had down played it so. I yelled really loudly at them. I made them cry and it hurt my throat. My voice has been different all day.

I have felt quite ill about it all day... trying to understand where that anger and frustration came from so quickly!

But then after talking to another couple of mums, I  realise that we all do yell sometimes. And yes....  their throats hurt too... and that even though it's not ideal, it happens sometimes because it's really hard to keep on listening to the same old stuff over and over again. It's hard to hear your own voice repeatedly sounding worse and worse, getting more angry, getting no results. It is is hard to hear your voice that sometimes you don't even recognise anymore. You are numb to it, you are immune.

So, yes, today I did a bad thing and I yelled at my kids. And I feel sick about it and I hope it never happens like that again. I don't know how to make sure it doesn't, but I know that today I nurtured myself. They were safe, they were at school. I took time to visit an old person, to be humbled. I took time to have lunch with friends and chat about every day stuff. And I took the time to wander my favourite store and touch and see and listen and smell to the beauty that surrounded me there.

When I picked them up, they were glad to see me. It's OK. We went off to the shops to buy the 'party food'. We haven't argued yet. It's looking good for the night. Perhaps I will snuggle up to them in bed tonight and whisper in their ears. I know I will tell them that I love them. And I do.

I yelled at my kids

and feel really bad about it. Really bad because I really really yelled. And then I had to send them off to school for the day with heavy hearts.

As much as I try not to, I am beating myself up about it. It's hard not to. But today is today and each minute is a new opportunity. Tonight is an opportunity to make it up to them. It is 'party night' because they went to bed nicely last night. I told them what if they managed to actually go to bed without fuss, etc etc etc (I don't need to elaborate, we all know what kids are like at bedtime!), I would throw a party.

Well, they called me on it. So tonight is party night.

Another little person is having a nice day today, a little party in a bus. This is Grand Nana. She is 88? I think, and she is all ready here to go in the bus and get an ice cream. The bus driver bid us farewell, reminding me that when they leave, they are clean and beautiful. When they come home they are covered in icecream drips and oh so happy and fulfilled. No doubt she will sleep like a baby tonight.

This way or that way?

Hmmm...  I was brushing The Little Man's hair for school this morning. We didn't have a lot of time. We need time when we brush The Little Man's hair because: when we brush it, it becomes a haze of golden fluff which extends approx 15cm from his head on all sides. This is undoubtedly beautiful to me, his mother, however it can cause problems for The Little Man when he arrives at school.

So... to avoid this problem today because yesterday he slipped in a puddle and all his 'friends'? laughed at him, I decided that I would not brush it all and then wet it all an then dry it all (hence the need for time). I would instead, brush each individual curl (!@%#^%!!!) and try and regain some order that way.

You should try it some day.

Anyway as I was individually brushing these curls I made a discovery! All his curls curl the same way... anti-clockwise. Again and again and again I tried to curl them the other way, but no, they just wouldn't play. Then on the way home in the car,  I began wondering if everyone who has curls only has them curling ONE way. I started checking mine out... so far, mine ONLY curl clockwise. I still have one section of my head to go, but I think I'm good in saying that I am a clockwise curl girl.

So... here is my challenge to you (you know who you are)... if you own a curl or two, please investigate and get back to me. I'll publish the findings and perhaps once and for all we can get to the bottom of this 'This way or that way' curl mystery.

The Summer of

Yep... forever more, the summer of 2009 -10 will be known in this family as The Summer of CafeWorld. It took over our lives and dominated in a shocking, addictive, but loads of fun way. We cooked and cleaned, we redecorated, we expanded, we woke religously through the night to serve our meals to our happy customers and at the end of it, we are here.

Nothing to show for it. Hmmm... nothing. Just an emptyness a bit like when Big Brother finished and we suddenly had to go Cold Turkey after we'd watched these people for months.

But even though 'I am over' Cafe World, I still can't delete the application from my FaceBook. Too much work has gone into it, too many hours slaving over the keyboard... I don't cook meals anymore, I just feed the hoards of avatars with the gifts I receive from my friends. I don't redecorate anymore, I am happy with my little Italian restaurant. I won't expand again... I would have to hunt down more neighbours to do that and I am buggered if I am going to beg and plead for that (although I did beg Ms McGinty to start a farm... which probably turned out to be The Summer of FarmVille for her).

Nope. It's over. Almost. Like a relationship with a useless man, this too has run it's course. It's over CafeWorld. I'm done!

But dang, it was good while it lasted.

Life Without Limbs

I took the boys to the library yesterday. They borrowed the usual: Superman, Elvis, Captain Underpants...

I borrowed a new book to read and the video of Life Without Limbs... the most inspirational man I have EVER seen in my whole entire life. We are going to watch it this weekend with the boys. They are fascinated by him... by his bodily functions, by his looks, by his attitude... they can't wait to watch the show. So much so, that The Little Man said "I would love to be different like that man with no arms and no legs... It would be just so good to be so different, to be just me, like no one else."

WOW! I wonder when he will realise that he is different, that he is unique, that he is special... just the way he is...

Werewolf

Today I saw a werewolf.

Yep! True! He was a human werewolf, and oh so happy. He was at the shops trotting along smiling at everyone. That's when I realised that if a werewolf can smile at everyone, then so can I.

He had a leather jacket way too big for him all up around his ears, massive bushy hair, beard, and this sparkle in his eyes... so gorgeous. I wanted to look at him more, but I was in the car and had to keep going... but I saw him and he fascinated me...

It's been a long time

I haven't blogged in a long time which is a clear indication that things have been bleak. The Big Man will know I am feeling better when he sees I have started blogging again. I've also started weaving again, cleaning (a tiny little bit) and I even watched a TV show the other day!

The little dark hole I was in was obviously bigger than I realised. I seem to have turned into a dark little mole myself, however, the light is now shining in and at least I am a smiling mole in a hole now. But the walls of the mole hole are coming down and the I can feel the breeze on my face sometimes...

Hmmm... it's time to come out and smile again.

We've been away!